British Stereotypes


These are the most grotesque stereotypes or stupid stereotypes about Britain that I’ve read:

Simon English writes for the Evening Standard: London is like the third world. He bases his claim in that […] from Heathrow to Holloway Road took, at four hours, nearly half as long as the flight across the Atlantic. Fair enough. Google Maps, arguably a bit optimistic as always, attributes 59 minutes to the same itinerary, that is four times less.

But then the columnist is not happy in London: It felt like I had returned to a third-world country — nothing works and everyone is grumpy (me included). I ignore just how much he knows of the third world, but I hope not too much because the newly rebranded ’emergent countries’ are far more dangerous, cruel and depressing than London is. Mr. English concludes his articles claiming that “the two main airports remain a national embarrassment.” Ein? Surely he means “the transport links to the two main airports”.

  • An island nation that bulked up on debt and lived beyond its means. A plunging currency. And a financial system edging toward nationalization.
    Falling Pound Raises Fears of Stagnation
  • Marks&Spencer: the most depressing and dull store in the world. It is was not based in the UK, one would have imagined it’s an UKranian or Kazahk import
  • Obesity: saturated fat, in all its variants, is the staple of the British diet
  • Only one type of cheese: cheddar. Enough said
  • Carpet in the bathroom. Don’t ask when was the last time it was replaced. Even one day ago it’s just too long
  • Two taps in bathrooms, one for cold water, the other for hot water. Why?
  • Shoes have all rubber soles. Clarks produce is not recognised by the World Health Organisation as “shoes”
  • Snacks are sweet chocolate-flavoured bars. Even for grown-ups
  • A nation built by pirates and bucaneers. Tell us something we don’t know

Anthony Hilton is a city commentator with a column on the London Evening Standard.

Four days after the Black Monday of 21st of January 2008 he reflected that It would be nice to think the world’s bankers could be left to twist in the wind, paying the price for their mistakes, but the world does not work like that. The credit-crunch […] may be entirely caused by their greed and excess but everyone else will pay the price.

Also: The financial sector is already turning down fast and the UK economy is now a giant hedge fund with a huge bet on financial services – and no Plan B for when it all goes wrong. For the past 10 years London has reaped rich rewards from the global financial boom and it will again in the future […] The main engine driving the UK economy is running on empty.

I don’t know who has or have the data on as many as 25 million people in the UK that the government “lost” a couple of months ago. It is tempting to speculate with the idea that the data is already in the market and up for takers. Child Benefit data is a product with a relative long shelf life, so we might never know when it is sold and to whom.

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