I have a drinking habit. Can I stand in office?
Yes, just make sure that you keep your enemies happy.
I am a serial offender in a number of crimes, including sleaze, corruption, tax evasion. Would that affect my political career?
Congratulations, you managed to get loads of free publicity for yourself. Just remind the journalists who did their work for them
I cannot articulate my ideas, in fact I do not have any as far as I know, would that be a problem?
No. As a matter of fact, intellectual abilities are toxic liabilities in the eyes of your electorate. Just smile and frown alternatively and credibly.
I lie convincingly but keeping different versions of the (same) reality in my mind drains me.
You need professional help to keep it simple. Mix liberally with prostitutes and sycophants but avoid journalists at all costs.
I am a natural opportunist and I have no charisma
Congratulations, your future cannot be any brighter, the limit is the sky.
The title of this post precises five questions but there are six here
We will write a post for literate bankers as soon as there is a minimum audience